New days ahead.

I have a habit talking to myself anytime anywhere. Idk what's the point those conversation but it helps me much grow the courage to make a step and not to regret every decision I made. Few days ago, I decided to move on seriously. Those hard times that I labelled as 'move on already' actually wasn't really a 'move on' on my own perspective. Sometimes there are many terms that is debatable, so that it. For me, move on is the action that I don't have to think any second about him, when I'm not in pain looking at him, when we can make a joke as if nothing had happened before. The time when I can forgive and forget of what hurts, although it is the most hurtful in my life. That are my simply definition yet the hardest things to do. So I didn't do anything to make me move to that position. His existence still lingers. When I woke up first thing I did was checking my phone in intention to text him or reply his Good Morning. I checked my phone at school on twelve o'clock because I used to remind him to have a lunch and pray. When I was home, he was the first person I sent message. I prayed for every test he had and felt as happy as him when he could pass. There were too many things remind me of him and the worse part in every accidentally action I did is when I realized no need to do that anymore. I did forget when I was with my friends, but then he filled up my head when I was alone. I put my headphone in volume up on my way home or school so that I couldn't hear him on my head but it failed. Every songs on my playlist still reminded me of him. I deleted all of our photos and everything about him but those moments were still in my head. I threw our photos on my wallet but his face still flight over my head. It felt like I was heading to my future with him. I did "nothing" because everything didn't change. I was so devastating, before my decision. I say it out loud on myself that I have to move on no matter what. I have to face the reality that nothing could bring us back. I still have many things to be done on my life. Life isn't always about love yet it is the most crucial. Anything could happen. Anyone could be my fate. My job is to make this life better and create the best me. God has planned something better for my days ahead. I have lost my weight several kilograms and I don't want it to happen anylonger. I have to be busy, counting my blessings. Refreshing my iman and get closer to God. No choice. No excuse. I'm stronger than I think. Wish me luck!